Are you good at giving or getting compliments?
Giving compliments to someone really makes their day. You must know that by how you feel when someone compliments you on your new haircut or they like your outfit etc.
A compliment is a polite expression of praise or admiration, as defined in the dictionary.
Now that I am older and wiser and more confident with who I am, I am better equipped to receive praise from others without pushing the compliments away. I can accept the compliments with gratitude and I really appreciate those who bestow them on me. Throughout my life, I have always been one to compliment others. I give compliments with sincere motives…..I truly like what I am seeing or feeling from whomever is at the receiving end of my expressions.
There use to be a time in my life when if a compliment was sent my way, I would be dismissive and almost embarrassed by the praise. Now I rise to the occasion with pride and gratefulness for that persons acknowledgment. I know how I feel when someone gives me a compliment. It feels good. It feels empowering. It increases my self confidence. So many good emotions are stirred when someone sends compliments my way.
We experience a hit of “feeling good” when we do philanthropic things like helping a charity. Giving compliments gives us the same hit of “feeling good”. That’s not to say we should be out there throwing compliments left, right and center. There are ways to go about praising those around you without overdoing it. People know when you are coming from a place of sincerity. That is the only place a compliment should come from….a true and sincere expression of admiration.
I have had long time friendships with people who NEVER gave compliments. They were at the ready to get them from others but I never heard them give them out. It always puzzled me that these people just couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge goodness in others. But now I realize that some personalities find it difficult to give compliments. I realize now that it doesn’t come naturally to all. I think being able to give compliments comes from a place of self-confidence.
When giving compliments to others be authentic. Being genuine gives the compliment more meaning and the receiver feels your authenticity. Don’t be a fake.
In order to give a good compliment, how you express it is important. Deliver it with a meaningful tone of voice, eye contact and a big beautiful smile. Tailor your compliment to the person you are talking with, ie. don’t just say to the person that they are great….tell them they are great because ______(fill in the blanks).
Acknowledging when someone has done a good job at something is important. It makes the person realize they have been personally responsible for a job well done. That is a “feel good” compliment for sure.
Knowing what is going on in someone’s life and giving them a good compliment in this regard makes the person feel seen and that you are interested in their life. Being a good listener definitely matters.
Personalize your compliments by expanding the praise. Don’t just say “that’s a nice sweater”. Say “that sweater is the perfect colour for you”. That makes the compliment more personal and thoughtful.
Compliment others as you would like to be complimented. Kind of like “do unto others as you would like to have done unto you”.
Compliments are about them, not you. Compliments have no motive other than kindness. Don’t have ulterior motives because that will backfire. Shoot from the heart.
Remember….giving compliments brightens someone’s day…..and yours too. It’s a win-win….good for the giver and the receiver.