This is a topic that I am living with every day now. My Multiple Sclerosis is at the point that I have no other choice than to ask for help with most of the day-to-day things I use to take for granted.
It’s not an easy thing to do, especially me with an A type personality. I was always a “do it myself” kind of person to prove that I had everything under control. I was a good multi-tasker…..things have changed.
We all want to remain independent and strong. Thank goodness I have the best support from my sweetheart. He has my back, so to speak, every day. He’s a blessing and for that I am grateful. He understands how hard it is for me to not to be able to do all of these simple daily chores without asking for his help.
We all think that having to ask for help is a weakness. But in actual fact, it’s a strength of character. And there are many people around you who would be honored to help you with whatever it is you need.
Asking for help is a vulnerability. But it’s good to know that we can lean on each other when need be.
The following tips are good for relinquishing our need to do it all.
- Change your thoughts on doing it all. When you realize that asking for help opens you up to the worthiness of someone’s help it becomes a benefit. You can overwhelm yourself if you think you have to do everything. In my case, I find myself saying things like “how am I going to do that in my condition”. My sweetheart always has a calming answer and it always involves assistance from him or someone else. It’s good to know he’s got my back.
- Getting help from others frees up some time for you to spend on yourself. Otherwise you will be burned out and totally frustrated. Self care is most important to an open and accepting attitude.
- Setting priorities for me is essential to my daily life. I can only do so much in one day because my MS causes physical and emotional fatigue. When I get up each day I have to “prioritize” what is most important for me to accomplish before my energy runs out. This is true for all of us…with or without a chronic illness. Prioritizing is key.
- make sure you are clear and concise when asking for help. Giving your helper all of the info on the task at hand will be good for you and for the person helping.
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne