There is a saying from Mother Teresa….”If you are judging others, you have no time to love them.”
We are all guilty of judging others. It is our ego that produces judgement. Our egos look at others in comparison and often put others down in order to boost our own self. We tend to minimalize others to make ourselves feel more important or more worthy, more attractive or more successful etc. The problem with being judgemental all of the time is that this state of mind leads to criticism and then condemnation. Allowing our judgement to get to this point is more damaging to ourselves then to the person we are judging. It leaves us stressed. At this point there is no peace in our mind and no love in our heart….which is the road to unhappiness.
“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.”
One thing we all must remember is that we are all here on this planet living our own journey. We all have choices in how we choose to live our lives, what hobbies we like, how we like to dress, wear our hair etc. It is really nobodies business how or why someone else does what they do or styles themselves the way they do. Who’s to say that the way I choose to live my life is the only way and the right way. Just because I want to eat healthy food , for example, doesn’t mean the rest of the world should do the same. That is my choice and I should not be pushing it on others nor should I be judging someone who eats cheeseburgers every day. That is their choice.
We all have a life story. Many are dealing with insecurities or health issues or financial strains or family problems or any number of personal issues that nobody knows about. So we need to cut the world some slack…so to speak. We don’t know the story behind people we meet on a day to day basis. To judge someone in one moment in time is unfair without knowing the background of one’s life.
Rather than look for the negative in people, find the good. It’s a positive thing to practice. Eventually it will become the way you see others. You will instinctively find the good and not see the bad. There is good in everyone.
The Dalai Lama says “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t meant they’ve gotten lost.”
Have you ever heard of the “shadow effect”. Quite often what we don’t like in someone else is likely a characteristic we don’t like in ourselves. When you are finding fault in someone’s behaviour ask yourself if you’ve ever done the same. If we feel good about ourselves then we don’t find fault in others. We tend to be hard on others because we are dealing with our own perceived deficiency.
Every person we meet along our own life path has something to offer us. We just have to be open to receiving it.
Most judgement of others comes from resentment or jealousy. For example if one of your coworkers received an achievement award at work you may resent their accomplishment because you are feeling your own inadequacy. Rather than judge and resent turn that emotion into inspiration and motivation.
It’s hard to be less judgemental but it is something I am actively working on in my own life. Interestingly by being this way, I am certainly more friendly, more positive and more happy in my day to day interaction with others. I find people are more friendly to me too. What you put out there in the universe is what you get back.
“Judge nothing, you will be HAPPY. Forgive everything, you will be HAPPIER. Love everything, you will be HAPPIEST.” – Sri Chinmoy
There is a saying I found on Pinterest that says it all: “BEFORE you judge me by my life, my past or my character….walk in my shoes, walk the path I have traveled, live my sorrows, my doubts, my fear, my pain and my laughter. REMEMBER everyone has a story. When you’ve lived my life then you can judge me.”
Judging a person does not define who they are…it defines who you are.