Self Esteem

self“Just be yourself.  Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.”

Self esteem is something that gets greater in most of us as we get older.  We tend to get more comfortable in our skin.  We are wiser.  We are less influenced by the opinions of others.  We are just better at being who we are.

Self esteem is a learned behaviour…influenced by how we were raised, the friends we choose to be with, our career paths, life experiences etc.  It’s our personal emotional assessment of our own worth.

We often don’t even realize that we are subconsciously evaluating ourselves.  How we feel about ourselves affects every aspect of our life from productivity, social skills, happiness, confidence, physical health etc.  So, you see, it is important to get your self esteem in check.

If you are not feeling so confident with your self there are many books and websites that you can go to that will help you to “love yourself”.

A few good ideas for making yourself feel better in this area are:

– What you focus on is what you will see most.  So if you are always focusing on the negative things about yourself and your life then that is what will stand out.  Try to reach for the positive things in your day and give them your utmost attention.  I find that keeping a gratitude journal helps me to focus on the positive things in my life.  Or if journaling is not your thing, just spend 5 minutes in quiet meditation each day and pick out things in your life that you feel good about.  Doing one of these awareness exercises will raise your self esteem and make you a happier person.  Just taking the time to realize how fortunate we really are in this big world is a positivity booster.

–  We are all guilty of criticizing ourselves, physically and emotionally, such as we don’t like our body shape, we are unhappy with our hair or our nose or any number of physical traits that we can’t do much about.  We were born this way.  So… I say love yourself as you were meant to be.  Love all of your giggly bits.  Our human body is an amazing miracle and we need to thank it each day for all the wonderful things it does for us.  Quiet your inner critic.

–  Nobody is perfect and the sooner we accept this to be so, the better off we are with ourselves.  We try to model ourselves after others.  We are constantly comparing ourselves to others whether it be a girlfriend, a family member, a celebrity etc.  Stop comparing.  We are all different, all unique, all living our own lives.  Now that I am handicap I find myself always looking at how lucky others are being able to get out and jog or golf or just walk through a mall.  When I do this comparing it depresses me.  I just have to accept that this is MY life and this is how it’s going to be so embrace it, be at peace with it and focus on what I can do and not what I can’t.

–  We all make mistakes in life.  Hopefully learn from them.  Don’t dwell on them.  Move on.

–  We all have something we are good at, whether it be in the kitchen, on the sports field, at our job, within our family etc.  Be happy for others near you who excel at something you aren’t skilled at.  Embrace what you are good at and enjoy devoting your time and energy to that.  Take pride in yourself and your uniqueness.

–  There are things we may be unhappy with in our lives that we can change like getting in shape or losing weight or saving money etc.  If something like this is causing you to have a low self esteem then it is something you could devote time and energy to with positive results.  I know myself, I’m happier when I’m a certain weight.  So if weight becomes an issue then I know how to resolve it and get happy with myself again.

–  Say thank you when someone compliments you.  I hear so many people deflect compliments in a negative way.  If someone says something nice about us and to us, acknowledge it, appreciate it, and take it seriously.  It’s always great to give others compliments too.  Compliments are great self esteem boosters.

–    Goal setting and goal achieving is great for your self esteem.  When you reach a goal it is a definite positive boost.  Be good to yourself.

A few good quotes in the “self esteem” department that I like are:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.”

“Take care how you speak to yourself because you are listening.”

“You are perfect exactly as you are.  With all of your flaws and problems, there’s no need to change anything.  All you need to change is the thought that you need to change.”

And my all time favorite mantra on self-esteem:

“Today I choose to let go of the people whose company is toxic to my peace of mind.  I choose to be free.  I choose to liberate my soul from the aches it’s been through.  Today I choose to stay away from closed doors.  I choose not to build a wall around my heart.  I choose to decorate it with the lessons I’ve learned.  I choose to paint it with respect and confidence.  Today I choose to forgive myself.  For asking too much of myself.  For allowing myself being hurt.  Today I choose to embrace my flaws.  I choose to accept my mistakes.  I choose to be better.  I choose to move forward.  I choose to guard my soul.  I choose to be brave.  I choose to say no when saying yes hurts.  Today I choose to be wise.  I choose to walk away from places I don’t belong.  I choose to embrace my time.  For all that is timeless – is precious.  All that is precious – is unique.  All that is unique – is different.  And all that is different – is beautiful.  Today I choose to be beautiful.  I choose ME!”

A wonderful affirmation by Najwa Zebian

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