Love…

loveHAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

What a perfect day to do a post on love.

Love comes in many forms.  There is romantic love, love for family, love for friends, love for self, love of a pet etc.  For this post I will talk about LOVE OF SELF.

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself”.  Steve Maraboli

‘SELF LOVE’ is the most important form of love there is….because if you don’t love yourself it is impossible to love anyone else.  We must learn to embrace and accept all of our faults and weaknesses.  By embracing and loving ourselves we allow connection to others more easily.  As you’ve heard before “Love makes the world go around”.  If you treat yourself well then others will follow suit.

There are many self help books on the book store shelves today talking about self love.  Many authors and spiritual gurus are pushing this topic as it is suitable for our times for sure.  If you have read any of these books, and I’ve read many,  you will get the common message.  Self love influences who you choose to live your life with, how you are treated at work, it influences your friendships, your relationships with everyone in your life.  Self love is a state of mind that truly supports our physical health, mental health and spiritual health.

I think Self Love comes with maturity.  At least in my own personal experience I’ve gained more respect for myself and who I am as I passed the 50 year mark of my life.  I’m less concerned with all of the frivolous things in life. The material “stuff” does not matter to me anymore.  Striving for health and peace of mind are my main projects now.  I need less drama in my life.  I’m blessed to have a fantastic and supportive life partner in my guy and we don’t need for anything.  I’ve got great friends who are on the same page as I am.  I’ve got a wonderful family.  I love my life.  I wake each morning looking forward to the day ahead.

One big change which helped me to self love better is to learn to say “NO”.  I was always a YES person.  Doing what the crowd was doing to fit in.  One day I woke up and realized that this way of living was not honoring myself.  I was participating in things that I really did not want to be doing.  It took maturity to wake me up to this.  Now practicing Self Love and accepting myself and all of my imperfections and being my authentic self has transformed me to a life of happiness and contentment.  (despite being physically limited with MS)

Taken from the Psychology Today website there is “A Seven Step Prescription for Self Love”.

1.  Become mindful.

2.  Act on what you need rather than what you want.  This is a big one for me.  Turning away from things that feel good and exciting and going for things that are good and nurturing to move you forward in your life instead.

3.  Practice good self-care.  Looking after your health, fitness, sleep and nourishing your body with the healthiest foods is definitely good self-love.

4.  Set boundaries.  By learning to say NO to activities that harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually you are definitely honoring yourself with self-love.

5.  Protect yourself.  Hang out with the right people.  Get rid of the friends who take pleasure in your pain and keep friends who support your happiness and success.

6.  Forgive yourself.  We are so hard on ourselves.  Learn and grow from your mistakes.  Don’t berate yourself for shortfalls.  Live and learn.

7.  Live intentionally.  Live with a plan and purpose.  If living healthy is your plan then you will do things to support this intention.  You will feel good about yourself.  Your self-love will grow when you see yourself accomplishing your goals.

I’ve come to know that self-respect and self-love are the definitive foundation to lasting joy and happiness.

As said by Buddha “You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”. 

Stop beating yourself up.  You matter.

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