I’ve written about “personal worth” and “loving yourself” before. Lately I find myself in need of a refresher course on this topic as I find myself dipping and diving between that “love\hate” state. You know…. the one where you beat yourself up for everything you think could or should be better or different. Unfortunately it surfaces in our lives as anger, depression, frustration and other deflating emotions. But the good thing….for me anyway…..is I acknowledge it. You know that saying “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”.
In my reading and online searching of this topic and related mindfulness topics I came across two great paragraphs which I have printed and pinned on my bulletin board right in front of my computer so I can read it every day. When I do read these paragraphs they make me check my price tag.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Do your best and surrender the rest. Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment. That is all I can ever expect of anyone, including me.” Love yourself and be proud of everything you do, even your mistakes, because your mistakes mean you’re trying.
If you feel like others are not treating you with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you subconsciously marked yourself down. Because it is YOU who tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you are willing to accept for your time and attention. So get off the clearance rack. If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.”
Just perfect words for snapping out of a “downer” mood.
Loving yourself is the most important part of getting enjoyment out of life. It is paramount in having satisfying relationships with others. You have to love yourself in order to allow love from others into your life.
Here are some great pointers to ponder when thinking about “self love” and “self respect”.
1. Give up trying to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. Embrace your flaws. Don’t let others expectations of you make you feel pressure to be perfect.
2. Stop comparing. We are all unique. Each and every human being on this planet has gifts and flaws. If you are always comparing or competing you end up with a low self-esteem. Of course there are people who have nicer cars or nicer houses, a better body, great hair etc. but the more you compare the more you stir up feelings of envy or jealousy and these emotions get you no where fast. Practice gratitude daily. Realize how fortunate you really are.
3. Be yourself. Stop loving the person you wish you were and love the person you are.
4. Get off the need for “stuff”. Material things do not fulfill. Some of the richest people in the world are the unhappiest.
5. Take life one day at a time. It is not a race.
6. Let go of the past. This is a biggy. So many people carry burdens from the past throughout their lives, whether it be a grudge to someone who may have done harm or maybe a grudge towards themself for missing out on an opportunity years ago. Forgive and move on. It is easier said than done but if you can’t move past something seek someone to talk to about it and work to get over it. Old wounds can leave scars but if you apply some TLC those scars can heal. Just like the new buds in springtime you deserve a fresh beginning and each day is just that.
7. Effort means more than accomplishment. Success is not a destination.
8. Look in your mirror each day and tell that person you see that you love them. Louise Hay of Hay House Publishing has done this for years and if you are familiar with Louise and her work you know that she truly “loves herself”. Hence she is loved by millions because she emits love.
9. Don’t berate yourself. So you made a mistake. Did you learn from it? Give yourself credit for trying. Negative self talk affects every cell in your body. Positive self talk produces happy and healthy cells.
10. Appreciate your human body. Nuture it. Care for it. Nourish it with healthy food. Stop doing things to it that are known to harm it. It is an amazing marvel. Love your body and it will love you back with good health.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. One of the commandments and worth mentioning here. Treat yourself as you treat your best friend. Love, kindness, respect, trust, appreciation, acceptance.
12. Use self expression to better understand yourself. Keep a journal. It is a great way to get things out of your head.
13. Make yourself happy by doing what you love…as long as it isn’t harmful to you or others.
14. Accept compliments graciously. Give compliments often. It makes someone’s day. When I compliment someone I always get a good feeling from that little act of kindness.
15. Learn to say NO. If you don’t want to do something then don’t do it. For many years I did things with others I really did not want to do. I did them to be accepted into the group….but deep down inside I knew I did not want to be doing these things. Now I’m a little bit older and know what I want and don’t want. It is easier to say NO now without guilt. Say it gracefully and with a smile. “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself”.
16. Persistent love and acceptance towards yourself is a must. Just like regular exercise strengthens your muscles…regular self love raises your price tag.
17. Practice random acts of kindness. It feels really good to know you have done something to help someone else. Even just opening the door for someone you don’t know is an act of kindness.
“To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful too.” Victoria Moran, Lit from Within: Tending To Your Soul for Lifelong Beauty
One thing I can say for sure……just writing this post has put me in a brighter mood.
I love me. I’m good enough.